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,

tidak pasti

It was a quite morning, with roti canai and nasi lemak on the table for two at a local canteen-like eating place for the two of Jahn and Emil. People are having breakfast and some of them are playing dam haji. Some of the others go as well as to play cards… but not to the extent of berjudi that is. Good. Jahn looks distantly. The dialogue is just about to start.




Jahn: When all these things end up, I want to settle down peacefully, get married and have kids and live happily ever after for some time before I’m dead.

Emil: How can you be so sure? You’d think you get married?

Jahn: What do mean by that, you prick…?

Emil: Nothing, I’m just curious with your logic of life sketch.

Jahn: Do you need to be curious? This is my life anyway, let me, myself prepare for it.

Emil: True and I’m not butting in on it, now am I? I’m just asking “how sure are you on that”?

Jahn: Now that you mentioned it. Well, actually, apparently, honestly… not sure.

Emil: No answer or not sure? Not sure is that you’re having doubtful thoughts. No answer is that you’re having no idea of what it’s eventual. So, where are you standing, my friend?

Jahn: No answer.

Emil: Relax dude, chill out.

Jahn: I’m relaxed. I’m keeping cool, don’t I always?

Emil: No, you’re not. Serious, man… you’re can’t relax. This is why.

Jahn: Why?

Emil: Keep wishing for things, keeps planning, and keep talking. Man, it bugs the crap out of me hearing someone talks much than I do.

Jahn: That is because you’re like be the center of attraction my friend, you always are.

Emil: That is because I am attractive. Don’t you forget? Back to where it paused. Future is a string of thread so thin. You cannot see it but you know it’s there somewhere.

Jahn: Your metaphor is confusing.

style dowhhh...

kau mampu?


Emil: Yes, for someone who has a slow-functioning brain like you, it can confuse, it did. You see that? That is gambling. And you see the other one? That is careful conjecturing. Life is not just about only one of it, it’s both. You need to conjecture its pace and bet on the rest after you have done anything possible in your power to make it reality.

Jahn: I see your logic there…

Emil: Yes, your brain is just catching up on my speed. I can see that.

Jahn: Pay you nasi lemak yourself, darn it!



Yes, sometimes in life we're being too calculative on what we wanted to do which results in we're being unsure of it. This may somehow jeopardize the plan made earlier. It is normal for us to be questioning on thinkable things. That’s the very nature of human, curiousness. But curiosity kills the cat. Just be careful.

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we end that up with a big round of applause!!

Assalamualaikum!


itu dia, akhirnya... Yanie Asgarali telah menamatkan pengajiannya! Sebuah pencapaian yang sungguh menakjubkan, marvellous y'all!

SELAMAT TINGGAL UiTM!!! (for now!)

tepuk la sikit!!!

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susah ke malas?

Jahn: It is not easy to ‘renovate’ yourself in a day or two, you know. Some people took lifetime to change what they did, then… to what the do, now. So, don’t feel jacked up if you are moving slow on the path now. Take it easy and just go with the flow. River finds the sea, eventually.

Emil: EASIER SAID THAN DONE!

Jahn: Okay, maybe that is so but… you never know what’ll happen unless you try, right?

Emil: That is not the problem; the problem is that how to get start with something you have no clue about. Like seriously, what to expect when you’re have… no… thing to expect.

Jahn: I was thinking you’d say, “What to expect when you’re expecting.”

Emil: Try to make fun of me, eh? Cut to the chase, get in the line.

Jahn: Okay, okay… I got it already. Huhh, hmm…you’re not having nothing to expect. You have things you’d be looking forward to. So, channels it. Set goal, draw mind maps and execute the literature. Get all things written down, so you won’t forget. Evaluate every angle of option at hand and try an error if you’re not sure of how it’d work.

Emil: EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!

Jahn: You don’t give too much to complain about if you’re serious with what you wanted.

Emil: …

Jahn: Get started with it. Hell started in no time, dude… why bother, you’re already in one.


It’s true. You’re hardly getting motivated once you face a block on your lane. You can not go straight but there’s always alternative route. The problem is just that whether you can go back on track again or you’d be taking a different alley. This one, no one can give definite answer on how to have indivertible goal. It’s just something you have to decide.


Emil: Okay! After spending f**k load of time for careful examination on what I wanted to do, I made up my mind! Let’s have pizza tonight!

Jahn: Great! Starving!!!

new menus in Pizza Hut, y'all!

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lemah

Assalamualaikum,


A boring night is not such a bad picture to be in. It's a good way to buy some time just for yourself to be alone for awhile, for tomorrow you'd be at the office again. Doing works you don't really like doing.


This post tonight is absolutely nothing to offer. It is just but a 'full of myself' blog post. I need to warn you guys reading this, it's boring... big time boring. You can just switch to another webpage if you like but it doesn't kill you if you read. Ok.


Well, sometimes I act all tough. Tried to be tough at the inside in hope that it showed on the outside. Some times, a little now and again I did looked firm, composed and convincing. Much of the rest, I looked pathetic, somewhat a wannabe and people might think I'm stupid. I really don't feel much about it. No anger or anything because I do think that, they're just of the same too. There would be time when they're stupid and pathetic too. At least for my own redemption.


I'm weak sometimes, actually often. I'm not embarrassed to admit that fact. I really am not tough like what I tried and would like to be, I really am pathetic inside, outside. It's just me...


...and I am sad about it. Not shame, just sad.


Luckily these days I don't cry so much, not so often like I used to be. Maybe I think man don't cry, which is a pure bullshit. Guys cried and it look stupid. So, they're refuse to cry... or at least would find a suitable place to be crying. Again, a mark of being pathetic.


But what else to do? I am just but a weak, insignificant person who is not of any worth to anyone. Maybe I exaggerated things but... what is more to say?


But yeah, when I come to think of it again, when I get cooled off, when I collect myself back, when I try to be tough again... troubles are just but rocks on the passage to your way home. You need to kick it away so that you can go back to where you'd feel safe and sound.


So, don't be all that weak for something just so... trivial. People would always make you feel down, they're haters. But some people also help you to go through hard, tiring times... they're counselors, haha... they're good guys!






Jahn: Things get hard if you don't work it out.


Emil: They turn even worse if you just mourn over it.


Jahn: And people won't help if you don't even try to pull over.


Emil: So get up and get running cause you're left far behind already!


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Challenge channels change

Assalamualaikum,

Sometimes in life, we tend to favor when others look up on us as it boost our self-confidence and self-worthiness. Considering of how hampeh who we really are. Not to tell that we are hampeh but because we know to what extend we are actually just capable of doing. Sometimes people see us like we’re SOMEONE although actually we are nothing. Erm, not nothing, we’re just not up to what they see in us. I think the word is ordinary.

People see us big but actually we’re just ordinary.

Come to think of it, is it a bad thing? Being average; being just like that, not too high though never low; being ordinarily just fine.

Well, I’m not saying that, “Don’t strive for the best, just stay here, don’t go extra mile.” I’m not like that. I’m not here to de-motivate people but I am merely asking a question.

Is it wrong to be average?


  1. No, if you are at that the best you can be.
  2. Yes, if you let go of a chance to enhance your life for better.


So, my dilemma is actually the second. I have pretty much enjoy with what I currently had right now; have job, monthly income and pretty much at ease with my life now.

But I have something more to do which might result in lost of job, no income, and would put my life on edge. It’s not really pleasing actually. It’s not mishap, it’s a risk. Yes, a risk.

It is a risk of a risk that I don’t confident taking. Well, I am just being complicated again.

It is just a risk lah, why risk something when you already have enough things now, kan?

But yeah, like I said earlier, I’M NOT HERE TO DE-MOTIVATE ANYONE, not you… and completely not me. So, if a risk I am all to take, then rape it. Oh no, too explicit use of word.

Embrace it (now that would sound a little intimidated. Hehe…).

Risk is a challenge. A challenge channels a change. A change draws a new line for you start. A start is all you need to get going to where life has something better stored for you. 



Emil: I think you’re just being stupid Jahn.

Jahn: Really? Why?

Emil: Because stupidly, up till now, you can’t decide.

Jahn: Really, am I?

Emil: …stop being stupid, my friend.

Jahn: …well, I guess so…

Emil: Its okay my friend, you know what they say, life’s a bitch. I’m gorgeous and you’re stupid.

Jahn: You have 4 stupids so far.

Emil: Really? So stupid of you counting that. Haha…

Jahn: 5.

Emil: Hehh, stupid.

Jahn: 6.

Emil: Keep counting that, you moron.

Jahn: At least a change.





Sleep tight.



P/S - need to sleep tonight for tomorrow challenges is up against me. I hope I can do the changes real good!

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