2013 - Predicted by Mayans (Wahahahaha!)

Jahn: haaa, kau... Mayans, kan. Kau ADO?!!
Emil: Mampu kau buat arca, tengah sit-ups, ... Mayans, Maya  Karin ke? Ke kemenyan? Lantak!

2013 – 1988 = 25

Adakah itu apa? Ada ke soalan ‘adakah itu apa?’, macam bangang je, kan?

Adakah itu apa yang dimaksudkan itu adalah umur saya mengikut tahun. Macam seram aje nombor itu, kan. 25... jubli perak. Sangat menakutkanlah.

Kenapa menakutkan? Let me tell you something...

Okay, last December, dated tak ingat, before I went back here, Shah Alam, that is, my mom was like forcing me to go to a wedding of her friend’s daughter. And I am this kind of a person who doesn’t really like to go to a crowded place.

Emil: Haaa, tak suka kenduri katanya, tapi kalau makan... Oopsss! Gitu!
Jahn: Propa je...

It’s weird because I love pasar malam, bazaar Ramadhan. Still, those places are crammed full but it came to my liking but kenduri kahwin, didn’t. Nevermindlah, kan...

So, I went to the reception. The food was okay. I mean like standard kenduri kahwin menu lah. Ayam goreng berempah, rendang daging, and those stuff you’d find at kenduri kahwin. You can never expect a Chinese cuisine on a Malay wedding reception. Lebih-lebih lagi dekat kampung, kan...

Jahn: Kau MAMPU kenduri kawin anak cik Esah nanti, si Maria dengan Sadol makan macam ni? Kau BOLEH?
Emil: Kelasssss kau Esah, vogue la kau sepanjang tahun kalau cam ni!

So, the kenduri was just like a lunch stop to me... and I didn’t give a whole lots of damn to whoever married that day. I knew it was my mom’s friend’s daughter but siapa... tak kisah pun...

And then it was the time for the groom to arrive. I heard the name of the groom but I thought as though people have names which are similar. So, I ignored jelah...

Then, the couple arrived to my sight and there it goes again... tahniah, semoga berbahagia sehingga ke anak cucu...

Jahn: Haaa, kau! Terkejut!
Emil: Propa je lebih...

The groom was my schoolmates for 5 years during secondary level. I knew him just like that jelah, kan... not very close if you ask. But still, I’m happy for the dude. I’m always happy for my dudes who get married. Well, it’s because it’s time. It’s about time. But then, it gets to me...

It’s time for them but why is it that I find my time isn’t up yet?

Well, to be frank, this topic is depressing. Getting married? And stuffs like that, it’s just getting on my nerves... it’s scary. If I must say...

The last time, my girlfriend got married (please be noted that ‘girlfriend’ here is just someone I call friend, a very close friend! Nothing as you shouldn’t expect!), I was almost burst into tears. I was happy. But to picture me like that (not in a wedding dress lah! I mean berkahwin sepertinya), I found I’m really not ready. 

Jahn: this is that girlfriend of mine, Ina and her husband, Hirzi... semoga berbahagia, guys!
Emil: bahagia dah tu...

It wasn’t like I don’t want to marry. Though hat thought had coming across my mind given a liberalist me long time ago. I mean like, I used to think that what is up with not married? You can adopt a child if you want and have a normal life, with that stupid consideration that sex can be just for fun. I know how sinful I was even thinking of that. Truth is, that time I have this same dilemma. Commitment. I can’t promise even myself that I can ace that. I mean, I’m that type of a person who loves being free. Realizing that a marriage is like these things and situation. Rope, big stone, cliff, deep blue sea.

Emil: lembu ke kau?
Jahn: tak... kau!

It feels as though I was knotted at a big stone, at the edge of a cliff where I would fall into the ocean and drowned dead.

This is just a metaphor.

The idea is that, I would lose if I bind to a life that filled with everything demanding a commitment that I would have to sacrifice my ‘something’ for the relationship.

Saying that I don’t want any relationship? No... Not really. Sometimes, it confused me... especially when I saw some of my friends, twitting their picture with their new-borne baby. I see that was like something I hoped for in life. When I was going window-shopping at the mall with my bros and my girls... I would stopped by at Lovely Lace and look at the baby tux and dress on the mannequin. It looks adorable. And I started wishing I would have a kid one day, who I can dress them up like that. It’s not just them, being a fashion experiment subject; it’s not the case here. It’s just about having a kid to raise. That’s was all, and I find that might be happiness to me.

Jahn: Adorable...
Emil: A lot like me...

But then again, this humungous thing called commitment suddenly strike as lightning, it comes scares me over. And that was, and still a reason why I would never feel that I will get married in this few years to come. And, this isn’t such a bad thing; I can focus on my career first. But more importantly, it allows me to learn more about being a person who can give commitment the justice it deserves. And it also allows me to have a bit more time to learn and to be a better Muslim because I believe, a husband and a dad, must secures his family with enough knowledge about religion rather than just by those things called love, sincerity, honest and true, give and take, and even money...

So, being 25, what is my hope and; what I would want this year?

iPhone 5!