love what you're doing is sooooo overrated...

Assalamualikum semua,

I haven't been writing a lot since like... I don't know, months maybe... not maybe, it's true... entah kenapa saya jadi macam malas sangat nak menulis apa-apa. takde cerita... mungkin, hmm... betullah tu, takde cerita...

My life so far has flipped on the rusty side of the coin, so, it's boring... I don't know what I am doing with my life...

A friend told me that, I am a kind of a person who need to be reminded often. because if I'm not, I forget... and forgo... you know what I mean? I lose track of my plan and I'll get drifted apart that unfortunately in the
long and far end, I missed lots of lots of lots of things.



It isn't easy being me. This is yet another excuse, but I just told my friend, one thing... people live by giving excuses... to justify... but that was it lah... to justify, rather than to reflect... nasib baik dia tak cakap kat aku dulu macam itu, kalau tidak... naya aku...

But I'm still rooting in the part where, it's not easy being me... because, I am just a plain jane... plain joe kot more appropriate for a guy... so, being just a 'joe', I made a drastically dramatic decision to further my study in Master Science. Where the truth is... I may not be able to do it. But still, that challenge is what I took and embraced... I thought I embraced it but by time, it seems like I was being too naive over this thing...

You wanted so much something that maybe not yours...

And when it struck you to reality... You know where you really belong, where you supposed to be standing. I'm not being disregardful, I am not, I really do... but what I had so far was easy... and this thing happened in my life, literally is the hardest thing I ever do... alone...

And maybe the loneliness is killing me... It's like Britney Spear's Hit Me Baby One More Time... "When I'm not with you, I lose my mind," because, when I'm alone... doing things alone, I lost my way... no one to guide me, no one to tell me what to do...

Though the solution of my problem is just simple... find friend, study with them... that's when the 'it's not easy being me' part came in... I am a social misled loser... I couldn't even start to say 'hello' at people I don't know... it's a shame, kot... it really is... but, I need to find a start to end this...

That was the end of my stupid confession session... till next time, people!

Bye, Assalamualaikum!

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